The Lollipop Road

Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category

Over the last three years, we’ve lived in three different places and we’re about to make it four. Accomplishing such a feat with a four year-old and one year-old has been pretty exhausting, which is why we have vowed never to move again…at least before the kids go to college. Moving has taken its toll on both kids (as well as their parents) and we’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way. One thing that we are sure of is that although moving with young kids is trying, it has less of a long-term impact than moving with teenagers. So, if you can endure the short-term trials and tribulations and don’t mind living through the chaos, moving before your kids enter Kindergarten will result in an easier long-term adjustment for them.

Our most recent journey began nearly a year ago. Little did we know that the actual decision to make the move would be the easiest part. In the house hunting process we’d make quite a few mistakes, endure hours of screaming kids and figure out that they are way smarter than we give them credit for. One of the things that we did get right was limiting the actual on-site house hunting. In the age of technology, we were able to get quite creative in our home search. Yes, we were one of those people spying on the neighbors using satellite powered imaging. Let’s face it, there is only so much you can learn through a flowery description and photos taken at just the right angle as to make a house look bigger than it really is.

The regional MLS website as well as other resources such as Realtor.com are an excellent way to start a house hunt without leaving the comfort of your lounge chair. If you’re more traditional, you can have a realtor pre-screen properties before you actually decide to see them. By employing a well thought out pre-screen process, you can involve your kids in the search while minimizing road trips that require a babysitter or trying to look at homes with the kids in tow. We admit that we utilized some pretty creative measures to explore neighborhoods, inspect the lot and location of potential homes and scrutinize each candidate. However, a few simple tools will save you time and headache. Zillow, a pioneer in tracking and predicting real estate pricing trends offers a unique feature that allows you to link to both an aerial and street level satellite image for almost any address. We walked down the streets from hundreds of miles away…now that’s technology.

We admit that we did take three trips to actually see the homes, but we were fortunate enough to have realtors who more than happily watched the kids as they explored the homes. Of course, by explored, I mean jumping on beds, couches and other miscellaneous furniture. If you can leave the kids at home, your search will be much easier. Once you’ve narrowed down the results and are ready to make an offer or revisit a home, do bring the kids. It is important for them to feel like they too are a part of the process if you expect them to adapt to their new diggs.

Of course, there is more than just choosing a home. School will be a major part of your children’s lives for years, so choosing a school, whether public or private is important. Be sure to obtain school information in advance. Once you’ve chosen a neighborhood, visit the school with your kids several times. Seeing the school, meeting teachers and gaining comfort in the environment will be an important part of their transition process. Avoid moving during the school year unless it cannot be avoided. Creating stability and security for a young child is particularly important.

During this time of transition, there will undoubtedly be moodiness, acting out and an underlying fear and apprehension in children of all ages. Recognize that this is a difficult transition (life altering for most) and be prepared to deal with it. We organized an end of school party where all of their friends got together one last time before summer started. It was just one step in providing closure. We did make the mistake of explaining to our four year-old that it was okay to be afraid and that his behavior was a manifestation of that. Now, anytime that he behaves poorly, he blames it on the move; I don’t remember being that clever.

Ideally, the moving process should be as quick and painless as possible. We allow the kids to help pack (in their own way) and always hire movers to load and unload. Unfortunately, our current move is dragging out over two months. After the first month, everyone is at the breaking point…yet another mistake that is taking its toll. In the end, kids are resilient and all will be well, but making it to that point can be easier by employing these few simple tips: 

1. Do as much house hunting as possible online and through realtor pre-inspections
2. Leave the kids with relatives or a babysitter if possible during initial showings
3. Do involve kids in the preview process and in a final showing of a home before making an offer
4. Make several visits to any new school prior to enrolling
5. Make the transition period as short as possible and provide closure
6. Be sensitive to your kids emotional turmoil, but never allow it to excuse unacceptable behavior

By making your move easier on your children, you’ll surely make it easier on yourselves. We’ve made a few mistakes along the way. There have been tears shed, tantrums had and a bit more graying – I’m sure of it, but we’ve learned from our experiences and share them with you so that your next move may be just a bit easier.

Disclosure

Easter was always one of my favorite holidays; searching for surprise filled eggs was one of the highlights of the year.  We’ve continued that tradition with our kids, but this year we’ve reached a whole new level…we’ve done four Easter Egg Hunts so far…where does it end!

Enjoy the beautiful spring weather and have a Happy Easter!

Disclosure

Wishing you the luck of the Irish today and every day throughout the year!

Check out WanderMom for some great St. Patty’s Day links.

So, it’s 4AM and I’m hold up in the bathroom of our hotel room, trying to survive the hotel night from hell!  Let’s start at the beginning; it’s always a very good place to start.

As you know, traveling always brings out the best in everyone, especially kids.  Having managed to squeeze out only four hours of sleep last night, I wasn’t firing on all cylinders either.  So, we set off for New Hampshire again this morning after digging out from the 16 inches of snow that Mother Nature saw fit to dump on us Wednesday.  Luckily, we were able to lay enough guilt on the guy who plows our driveway (the road into the abyss) that he took pity on us and plowed us out in the wee hours of the morning.

Of course, that left me with only about a foot of residual snow to dig through where the plow can’t reach…oh joy.  The day seemed to be going so smoothly; it was 9AM and we were ready to go, one full hour ahead of schedule.  We had endured the usual fight with the kids, trying to get them to eat breakfast, which of course they didn’t.  I issued the obligatory warning – you know, “don’t be telling me you’re hungry in an hour“.  Predictably, one hour later – “I’m hungry“…grrr!  Note to self – force feed kids before the next trip.

After serving a buffet for our oldest son while driving and then stopping for a quick lunch for the rest of us, we made it to our destination in record time.  A few hours later we were on our way to the hotel, ready for a restful evening.  No one was looking forward to it more than me; this was my chance to catch up on some much needed sleep.  Within ten minutes, the room was destroyed – you know what I mean.  Note to self – request a pre-destroyed hotel room – it will save ten minutes.

I ducked out to pick-up some pizza while Mommy reigned over the unruly mob (and by mob, I mean our two darling children).  The real fun started on my return – thank you for waiting!  Apparently, there was a coloring activity while I was gone; the result was a white comforter covered in crayon marks.  “Oh, what the hell, let’s just put the pizza right on the table” (and by table, I mean the bed).  “Yeah, that’s a good idea, daddy.”  GRRRR!  Note to self – next time bring a plastic table covering for the table, I mean bed.

No worries, I’ll get some ice…that will give me a one minute break.  Hmmm…that 16 month old running down the hallway looks an awful lot like our son…wait, it is our son!  Note to self – our 16 month old knows how to escape a hotel room without being detected – bring chains next time.

Oh well, nothing that barricading the door with 100 pounds of luggage can’t fix.  Oops, I didn’t realize that my wife had birthed Hercules!  What’s that wet spot on the floor…I hope it isn’t, um, whew, it’s just my cup of water that Hercules dumped on the floor.  Note to self – bring a wet vac next time.

Ahh, it’s bedtime – YES!  An hour later, we’ve all fallen asleep.  Fast forward four hours – everyone is awake.  NOOOOOO!  Fast forward one hour – I’ve escaped to the bathroom to do some reading…knock-knock…LEAVE ME ALONE!  Fast forward one hour, Mommy takes a bath and I have high hopes of falling back asleep.  Fast forward one hour, I’m writing this.  Note to self – next time bring Ambien – kids can take that, can’t they?

Ugh, I’ve just been urinated on – “watch what you’re doing”!  “Mama, you better get in here.”  Everyone is awake again.  “When does the sun come up?”  Not soon enough, not soon enough!

Note to self – book a massage when we get back home!

Disclosure

When Randy suggested that I try my hand at writing a few articles for The Lollipop Road, I said, “Yeah, right!”.  I’ll do it right after I wash the dishes, change diapers, wash, dry and fold the laundry, chauffeur my oldest son to school, change more diapers, go food shopping, prepare lunch and dinner, change even more diapers, pick up my son, play with the kids, wash the floors and did I mention – change diapers, you get my drift.  But then I thought about it (not surprisingly, while I was changing diapers) and decided – why not.

I mean, yes I’m busy, too busy in fact to get everything on my ever-growing “to do” list done, but should I let that stop me?.  Why not do something a little different, unexpected and out of the ordinary for a change, I thought.  After all, it might be fun.  What’s the worst that could happen, the kitchen floors won’t sparkle?  Okay, I admit, the floors never sparkle.  I just wanted to give all those hard-working moms out there a little extra excitement, just for a moment. Honestly, I’m simply satisfied if there’s no caked on food from the previous meal!

So, back to this writing gig.  Now that I have no more excuses, what would I write about?  And then it dawned on me – I’ll write about… excuses.  After all, aren’t excuses the major reason most people put off going on vacation?  Things like, ”I don’t have time now” or “we’ll go another time” permeate the psyche and make us complacent.  We feel content to go about our days doing the same thing day in and day out because it is familiar and comfortable.  But if you don’t make the time to go now, then when will you go?  Will it be a year from now, five years from now, when you’ve retired?

Most of us are too busy and overwhelmed to even think about a vacation.  I have to admit that sometimes when my husband mentions traveling, I roll my eyes, thinking to myself – can’t we just use the money and get a maid?  I know, a maid is probably most women’s secret fantasy.  We actually had one shortly after our second child was born.  My husband was working obscene hours and my 3 year old refused to wash the toilets like I asked him to, so I was on my own!  Having someone clean for us wasn’t a luxury, but rather an absolute necessity.  It was great while it lasted, but gradually I was gaining precious minutes back and it did eventually became a luxury, so I took over the task of cleaning the house once again.  I have to admit that it was great having a maid, but the truth is that I just filled my “extra” time with some other job or errand.

Ideally, a family vacation allows you time to relax and do what makes you happy, without the endless list of errands competing for your attention.  More importantly, the best vacations will bring you closer together as a family, enabling you to laugh together, learn a little more about each other and love one another.  No maid service can do all that for you.  So, no more excuses, no more eye rolling (okay, maybe a little) and more quality family time…sounds like a plan.

Amy will be guest blogging for us on a regular basis.  As a mom of two, her entertaining sense of humor and unique style will provide an interesting perspective on family travel.  We welcome her and look forward to hearing more from her in the future.

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